New Beginnings
Hello all! My name is Andy and I am a young, twenty-year-old who has had it rough to say the least. Despite all of life’s circumstances, I am still somehow pushing through. I am in my first semester of nursing school knocking out my pre-requisites, working full time as a Barista, and just recently I had my whole world turn upside down.. but we’ll get into it.
Love and Lies
Three months ago, I had met the “love of my life.” I met someone who had promised me so much, but they never stayed true to their word. See, for 90-days, I got to know this person like the back of my hand. I trusted him. I trusted his family. I did things that perhaps no one else would have. Somehow, none of that was recoginzed. The sleepless nights I would spend at this persons side when they were hospitalized for their back problems, the times I would rather not eat away at money so I would sacrifice a meal or two just for them to eat, the times I would put my mental health on the line, just for them to be okay.. none of that ever recognized.
At the end of the day, I never mattered to them the way they mattered to me
I had a moment of realization one morning that I didn’t want to associate myself with, let alone spend the rest of my life with someone who couldn’t follow through with their words. I didn’t want to be with someone who only held empty promises and a long list of IOU’s. I couldn’t spend any more time with someone who saw how hard I worked to try and make the relationship successful, but didn't value it, didn’t value me. So, here I am writing this, in my old childhood home that I swore I would never move back to because I was “too grown.” Thankfully, the love my mother has for me allowed me to move back in.. but when you live with someone for 90-days, you start to miss their mannerisms, their voice, their touch. Although at times it hurts to not be with them, I know it was for the best. I know it was for the best because when this person met me, I was at a good high in life, and because of stupid love, I let them bring me down with them.
Moving on
This time around, I don’t even know how to move on. I still don’t feel like it even happened. But hopefully things become okay soon. I am tired of life being so damn sad for no reason.
